His Alone Time
by Kipli
Summary: CoxJD: Oneshot: Perry enjoys the new soundproof bathroom a little too much... Warning: Masturbation


_**Title:**_ His Alone Time  
_**Author:**_ Kipli  
_**Email: **_Kipli at livejournal dot com_**  
Series:**_ Scrubs_**  
Pairing:**_ Cox/JD (one sided)_**  
Rating:**_ NC-17  
_**Word Count:**_ 2,292  
_**Warnings:**_ Masturbation (mmm baby)  
_**Summary:**_ Perry enjoys the new soundproof bathroom a little too much...  
_**Disclaimer:**_ Not my 'verse, I just play with them.  
_**Notes:**_ Once again, I blame **bankfarter**. And holy crap I wrote maybe kinda sorta s7 fic!! A take off of the s7e4 'My Identity Crisis' where Elliot mentions talking to Jordan about soundproofing her bathroom. Alludes to Elliot/Jordan. ;) And the Gwen Stefani reference came to mind from some other episode... though I can't recall which.

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His Alone Time

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"Soundproof?"

"Completely."

"Why?"

"Why not? It's a bathroom. I don't want to hear what goes on in there."

"Oh _puh-lease_, Jordan. Since when?"

"Since... now." Jordan huffs at me, crossing her arms, as I step into the bathroom. "What, Per? You want me to pay them to come rip it all back out?"

"Hell no! I'm not giving those **thieves** any more of my damn money." I reach out to knock gently at the wall just inside beside the door. It looks exactly the same. Mostly. The paint, the design is all as it was before. Except somehow I can just **feel** that the room is smaller. Shrunken. Padded.

Why in the hell would she suddenly do this? She could give two shits--oh don't you dare chuckle out loud, Perry, or she'll kill you--about anyone hearing her in here. And who was there to hear? Me? Jack? Who would care? But then, since when have I ever understood **any**thing that Jordan's ever done with my money? Well, except the boob job. That was indeed money well spent.

I glance back over at her standing in the doorway. "So it's completely soundproof now?"

"Yup. You can belt all the Broadway showtunes you want from now on and **no** one else will have to **suffer** through the pain with you."

I let the jibe at me slide. This room can't really be **that** soundproof. I raise both my eyebrows at her. "Oh really?"

I don't give her any time to reply as I snag the door and slam it shut. It makes an odd huff of a sound as it does so, not really a slam. Huh. Maybe the room is soundproof. Time to test.

At the top of my lungs, I shout into the door. "You look more and more like your mother with each passing day! The hundred dollar boutique creme is **so** not working for your stretch marks! The scar on Jack's forehead is**actually** from the time I let him eat half of a rum cake, on purpose!"

I pause a moment. No shouts or snarling. I oh so carefully reach to open the door a crack but Jordan just stares at me, looking bored out of her mind.

She clicks her tongue. "You **never** believe a word I say, do you?"

"Generally, no."

I stare a moment longer. Maybe she's delaying her reaction to surprise me so she can shove me back into the tub before wrapping the shower curtain around my neck.

Her eyes narrow on me. "What?"

Huh. Guess she didn't hear.

I shut the door. Well, at least **I** won't be able to hear her growling at me for abruptly ending our conversation. Maybe this idea isn't so bad... We could soundproof all the rooms, and then I could lock her up in one, permanently. So long as I put in a bartender and a masseuse, she'd have no reason to complain. And anyway, who would hear her? No one. Exactly.

I snort to myself. Well. I might as well enjoy this absurdly outrageous 'upgrade' that seems ridiculously frivolous and far too expensive for any sane person to purchase. But, that **is** Jordan's specialty. Spending my money, that is. She can seem to think of endlessly idiotic ways to blow every last penny... At least I can perhaps enjoy this extravagance myself. Unlike the building stockpile of designer clothing overflowing from her closet.

I flick the lock and strip out of my sweats and t-shirt as I turn for the shower.

I needed a shower anyway. That's how I ended up down here inspecting the 'upgrades' to the room. It's not like I was just jumping at the idea of a private shower. An actually **private** shower.

Still. This shouldn't have as much appeal as it does... The idea of being completely alone, in my own home, with everyone here. But it's oddly... freeing. Locked away in this room, no one can hear me. No one able to interrupt me, not Jordan, not anyone. I can do **whatever** I want, for a change. Whatever I want...

I turn the water on and double check that it's nice and steaming hot before stepping in beneath the shower head. I close my eyes and let out a sigh, simply because I can. I reach for my shampoo but my mind is already racing ahead to my usual '_gooood_ morning' activities.

Mmm, who to test this new shower out with?

The image of Jordan, annoyed and standing glaring at me in the hallway, springs to mind. I actually bark out a laugh as I work the lather in my hair. I flash a grin as I shake my head. "That would be a first."

Okay, no seriously, who to think about?

Gwen Stefani? After she had her kid though, because **damn** did she fill out. Nurse Tisdale? She was wearing her pink pair of Scrubs that always look positively painted on the other day.

But, as always, as fucking always, a pair of blue eyes flash to mind, capturing my complete attention... staring raptly, adoringly up at me, their owner kneeling in front of me, silently begging while obediently staying still, quiet...

"Fucking pathetic," I snap loudly at myself, shaking my head as I rinse out the last of the shampoo. "So fucking pathetic."

Goddamn it, Per. Can't even jack off to something **normal**. Can't jack off to a hot **female**. Oh no. Every morning, it's got to be those fucking big blue eyes. But he doesn't even count. So doesn't. He's a girl. A complete girl. With fucking full lips that would look so damn gorgeous wrapped around my cock...

I let out a groan as I finally wrap my hand around my firming cock. Eyes still closed, I lean against the side of the shower with my left forearm, as I start to slowly stroke my cock in time with the imaginary mouth bobbing up and down my cock. Fuck, but he would look like a half drowned rat, with his hair all wet, no bounce, all flat against his forehead. Don't care though, so don't care, because those eyes, oh shit, those eyes would stare hungrily up at me even as he worked on my cock. He would be so damn pleased with himself, so damn happy to be on his knees in front of me. I squeeze roughly at my cock as I imagine him humming happily around it.

"_Ooooh_ fuck," I groan low in my chest. I lift my right foot up onto the tub's edge, allowing me to thrust a little more easily into my own hand.

His eyes would light up at my verbal reactions. He'd live for those. Oh god, he would. To get me to groan and moan and shout. And he would look**so** damn smug whenever I did.

I grunt with my quickening pace, leaning more heavily against the shower stall wall, and turn to rest my forehead against the tiles. My breath catches in the humid heat of the shower.

"I don't just like his lips..." I mutter to myself. The image shifts. I moan loudly as I squeeze hard around my cock and start to truly thrust into my hand.

His legs wrapped around my waist, his body pinned up against the end of the shower stall beneath me, his ass wrapped deliciously tight around my cock.

"_Oh fuck yes_," I gasp, whimper, enthralled by the image. He'd still be staring at me, those large blue eyes drilling in to me, his mouth wide open, fingers digging into my shoulders, as I fucked him, fucked that firm ass of his. I'd fuck him so hard that he wouldn't be able to walk straight for a week. But he wouldn't care. He so wouldn't care. He'd beg me to fuck him harder. Beg me. Such a goddamned girl. He'd love my cock buried in his ass. He'd be so damn hard, cock rubbing against my stomach, as I fucked him senseless.

"He'd be... so fucking tight... so fucking tight..." I hear myself grit out between my teeth. I groan low in my chest and push away from the wall, standing up straighter, as I move my arm propping me up against the wall to instead cup and squeeze my balls as I continue to work furiously at my cock.

And those eyes, his gaze, it would never leave mine. The desire, the heat, the adoration, the want, the need. All of it. "_Ooooh_ fuck those blue eyes of his... **his** eyes... _oooh fuck fuck fuck_..."

I shift forward, imitating my fantasies, and rest my cheek against the end wall of the stall, dipping my hips down to thrust up into my hands and his beautifully tight ass. The correct rolling motion of my hips sends my balls tightening.

If only he was wrapped around me... I could reach for that cock of his and stroke him mercilessly until he came, surely whimpering my name like the girl he is, as he clamps down around my cock, positively milking it... I would play at how long I could hold out, how many more thrusts into his insanely tight ass I could manage, before I came buried so fucking deep...

A rough pull on my balls does it. I thrust up into my hand and come. The shuddering deep pulse nearly knocks me off balance. I thrust again, slowly, carefully, as I keep coming.

I halfway whimper as I turn to bury my face against the tiles. "Holy shit, JD..."

And I said his name. He'd be glowing because I said his name. Absolutely radiantly pleased.

Jesus christ, straight men don't daydream about the goddamned afterglow, Per.

I grunt and right myself, steadying myself on both feet again, as I pointedly ignore the fact that straight men don't daydream about fucking male colleagues, either.

"He's a fucking girl anyway. It doesn't count," I suddenly snap at myself, whether I really believe it or not.

A quick rinse down and a rough mental brushing off of what **exactly** just got me off, again, and I step out of the shower to towel off. Sweatpants back on, I simply snag my t-shirt for the walk to the bedroom and a fresh set of clothes for the day.

At least my day usually starts out well... before whatever else might attempt to pound my soul into the ground. And I could get used to not caring if I'm too loud while in here.

A devious and perhaps maybe **happy** smile slides onto my face. I definitely could get used to this.

I open the door and find Jordan still standing on the other side, just as I'd left her. Her arms crossed, she manages to look both disgruntled and bored, all at the same time.

My smile falters.

Does she have nothing better to do than to wait to snarl at me for slamming the door on her...

"Oh. One thing though PerPer. They still have to replace the old door with a soundproof one. Ours is an odd size. They'll be here Monday to install the new one. And I do **so** not look like my mother."

Shit! I should've known. Shit!

My stomach drops as Jordan flashes me an overly sweet grin.

"But I'm just so **glad** that you'll enjoy yourself so **thoroughly** when it does arrive. I just **knew** you'd like the renovation."

Must not blush. I wasn't that loud. And I'm a guy. Of course I jerk off in the shower. She knows this. She's quite intimate with the removable shower head herself.

Jordan's smile drops some at my schooled expression. She leans in to whisper, her breath brushing against my ear, "And I won't tell **DJ** about it either, I **promise**. Though I don't think he'd object at **all**, Princess, to your little fantasies..."

Okay. Now I'm bright red.

_Shit!_

Just what I needed. Some more ammo for her to call me a wuss, a pansy, and anything else she might wish to toss in there, just for kicks.

And if she ever tells Newbie...

Well. I'll just--I'll just have to play innocent. Yes. Like he'd believe it. One snarl at him and he'd be back to quietly following after me. She can't **prove** it to him. And besides, I don't... It's just jerking off!

She leans back to admire the blush she's placed on my face. I scowl at her but it really has no effect with me being bright red and all.

"**Any**way, Perry, I just wanted to catch you and let you know that I need you to watch the kids. I'm going over to Elliot's."

I finally break my silence with a surprised huff. "Barbie's?"

"Well, _ye-aaah_. She's **all** alone in that big old house of hers now. She needs me."

I snort. Has anyone ever **needed** Jordan? "You just don't want to watch the kids today."

She shrugs. "That too. We're making Margaritas and ogling male wrestling on pay-per-view, so don't wait up."

"But it's ten in the morning."

"And?" She eyes me as if I've lost my mind, then shrugs and briskly turns around, strutting down the hall and out of sight.

Joy. A whole day watching the kids. Well, at least Jordan will be missing. And I'll have a stay on my harassment for this till tomorrow.

She's been going over to Barbie's a lot lately...

I grunt and shake my head before continuing on for the bedroom.

I wonder if I can get them to install that soundproof door this weekend...

END


End file.
